I mainly watch 'Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model' because I like watching the photo shoots and seeing how they dress them up for each theme (such as the fairy tales), but it does have some amusing and interesting qualities, so I thought I would blog the finale. It starts with a hilarious introduction of the three remaining contestants:
Emma Lauren Sophie
Emma- Left a call centre job and is 'unusual' and 'individual' looking. Is she? She looks almost identical to Lara Stone to me.
Lauren- AKA the best so far. She was homeless.
Sarah- Okay, I'm not going to bitch about any of the contestants, because it is mean, and I understand that I can't have an honest picture of her from only seeing her on the TV for an hour a week. It just annoys me how the judges and Sarah herself seem to insist she is the underdog because she has moved from Ireland to London, even though she seems to sail through the competition to me, and also that she has apparently overcome numerous deathly 'challenges', which include sitting in water, stroking a cow and holding a tame snake. Also, if I have a pound for every time Sarah said she is 'proud' of herself, I would be very rich by now.
Photo Shoot
I love watching the photo shoots on this programme. They are creative, beautiful, and I find how different the models look in the photos compared to normally fascinating. Anyway, Sarah is 'so proud to be here' and 'so proud to be the final Irish girl'.
Emma is posing, but I am too busy looking at Tyson:
Emma feels like she deserves to win more than the other girls. Oooo. Claws out. Lauren wears a bright blue bikini when the other girls were wearing black, which doesn't seem that fair.
Next, we see montages of all three girls staring dramatically into space. I can just imagine the director being like, 'Girls, stop playing on your phones, the camera is rolling! Stare dramatically into the distance like staring hard enough will bring you all your hopes and dreams!' Emma says 'I'm twenty, so this is my last chance'. Erm? That's very cynical, even for a model. Surely she has a few more years left? Sarah says 'I'm so proud of myself for making it into the final' (of course), 'even though I am red haired and Irish' (bleurrggghh).
Catwalk
The girls practise their catwalk. A black gay guy (probably...stereotype? I doubt it) is screaming at Lauren 'WRONG SHOES! WRONG SHOES! WRONG SHOES!' and I feel like I'm watching 'Devil Wears Prada'.
CATWALK TIME! Lauren looks fierce:
Isn't Sarah just so happy Lauren's walk went well?
She sure is. Sarah struts her stuff, and Dannii continues to look like a frozen mermaid statue:
After Emma walks, Sarah is stressed out (and secretly thrilled) because her dress is too short, and Lauren is panicking because her shoes are too big. #TopModelProblems. Lauren walks, and Tyson is all, 'That's her best walk ever!', and 'Good walk, GOOD WALK!' I'm baffled, because to me it looks identical to every other walk. Ah well. Sarah apparently stumbles, which I didn't notice, but I wish I had. She screams 'IT'S A BIT CHAOTIC' with the ever present 'BUT I'M STILL ENJOYING IT'. Also, the judges start laughing at Emma's walk? Which I thought was mean. Lauren nearly falls over, but she pulls it off LIKE A BOSS.
The three girls strut out, and I'm sorry, Lauren should definitely win, she looks so lithe and graceful, she is basically gliding across the cat walk. Emma looks really weird for a second:
Sarah reminds me more and more of a super smug cat every day:
(I'm definitely not saying she is fat, like that cat is, just the face).
JUDGES
The judges deliberate. Lauren is 'the strongest contestant we have ever had'. Go Lauren! Go Lauren! (I'm not biased here because I like her better, I like her and Emma equally, but because I genuinely think she is the best). Emma is 'quirky'. Sarah 'works twice as hard as the other girls'...does she?
The girls face the judges. LAUREN WINS!!!! She sobs with joy, whilst the other girls stand there looking pissed off. Is this not one of the most awkward photos you have ever seen?
The other girls then have to witness an impromptu party thrown for Lauren, which consists of:
and a radiant and ecstatic Elle, who looks like a five year old who has just walked in the room and seen her parents got her a pony for Christmas:
CLOSING MONTAGE
Sarah- Sarah is 'proud of herself'. Duh.
Emma- Emma is not going to go back to the call centre.
Judges- They agree Lauren has to 'rock it out'. Also, Dannii is SO short! Elle and Tyson look like a mum and a dad proudly looking at their adopted child in this photo:
Lauren- The episode ends with Lauren dancing around whilst Bastille's 'Pompeii' plays dramatically in the background. Well done Lauren! Well deserved.
