This episode is evidence of New Girl's success, as it shows they have hit the BIG BUCKS and now can have as many props as they want, including an uninflated, pointless hot air balloon. This episode was okay, and it was nice to see a bromance (really hate the word 'bromance') between Schmidt and Nick, but Jess really, really irritated me. Also, I refuse to believe Cece would become engaged to a guy a foot shorter than her. WOW I AM SPOILING SO MUCH ALREADY. Let's begin!
TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY / SHUT UP JESS
Schmidt wants to celebrate his and Nick's 10 year anniversary, or 'tiniversary', as room mates. There are lots of flash backs to their other anniversary parties, such as wood and paper. All are funny, as per. New Girl does flash backs well. Jess and Cece are talking. Jess is all, 'wahhh wahhh wish I knew what was going on in Nick's head, his mouth on my mouth'. She says this in loud stage whispers when he is IN THE ROOM. Cece says Nick needs a new guy, because she is so happy with her arranged-marriage-super-exaggerated-British guy. There are clips of Jess being set up with guys. My favourite is a nerdy looking one who goes, 'Microchips are getting smaller. Soon they will be smaller than blueberries. You can put them in your cereal GURLL'. Jess says, 'I don't get your thang'. I don't either, but I like it. In an amusing way, not a sexual way. Winston walks in with a very tall guy with a weird bun in his hair called 'Jacques McTavish', or something. He is supposed to be a famous America football player. Jess goes over and attempts to flirt her ass off. Jacques is supposed to be a super manly man, but he has stupid girl hair in a ballerina bun.
The theme of Nick and Schmidt's party is 'Masculine Garden Party'. Haha. Nick has to organize balloons and porta-pottys. Nick says he is having an anxiety attack. He is very funny in this episode. Annoying British guy, eg. The Hobbit, because of how short he is, proposes to Cece by saying 'are we doing this thing?' Cece accepts. My respect for her has dropped several levels.
EXTRAVAGANT YET QUIRKY PARTY
Schmidt is in his element. 'Everything is tin. Everything!' He then pierces a child's football. Jess and Winston argue over Jacques. Jess says, 'I want his mouth on my mouth!' STOP SAYING MOUTH. She actually makes me laugh when she says, 'Oh no, I only have my legs, boobs, hair, skin, face....ha ha. Fool'. Nick shows his porta-potty. It is dirty, and big, and so unbelievable. If Nick really bought that, he is a complete idiot.
Schmidt has bought a nicer one, and Nick is jealous. Jess is annoying on the football field. Nick tries to make Robbie use his toilet. YEY ROBBIE! He is only in the episode for 3 seconds. God damn it. There is a Nick and Jess moment; Jess appears out of nowhere and goes, in an irritating voice, 'It's been really nice hanging out with Jacques because he talks about his feelings'. Awful. When did Jess become a mega bitch? Nick looks sad and unsure of himself. Cece arrives with the British, short haired hobbit:
Cece, this party is not as good as the parties we have in the Shire.
Schmidt acts all sassy. Jacques really likes Jess, so much he starts crying about it. Is Jacques still in the episode? He has made literally no impression on me. Schmidt writes Nick's speech for him. 'Why do you think you are better than me?' There is another flashback to Fat Schmidt. It reminds me a lot of Fat Monica. Wait...could they be related? They are both Jewish and fat. We don't know Schmidt's last name. Could it be 'Geller'? I feel Chandler and Schmidt would not get on. Maybe Schmidt and Ross.
I feel I'm grasping at fictional strings. Also, fat suits have got way better in the past 10 years. Because this episode of Friends was filmed 10 YEARS AGO! Ahhhhhh mind fudge! Back to annoying (in this episode) Jess. 'Is Jacques known for being intense?' 'Yes, Jess. He is a professional athlete. He doesn't jump, he leaps. He doesn't like, he loves'. This makes me feel bad for not being a professional athlete. Jess goes back to Jacques. She goes, 'I really want to French you'. Eurghh. Hobbit proposes to Cece on the stage, and it is meant to be Romantic but it isn't because she hardly knows him and he is a lot shorter than her and she slept with Schmidt 2 weeks ago. Are we seriously supposed to be heart warmed by this? The funny part of the speech is, Schmidt's music and lighting effects are played by accident, eg. exaggerating their 'bromance' and how over the top Schmidt is. A cake is carried past, and a girl whispers to Schmidt, 'Its shaped in an infinity sign because their marriage will last forever'. Hahaha. But Schmidt looks sad. Aww! Schmidt! I feel sad with you! And also shocked. Who knew this would actually happen? Jacques gets on stage. 'I would like to report a stolen item. My heart'. This story line is boring and unbelievable. Schmidt and Nick are meditating in an uninflated hot air balloon. They are best friends again. It is cute. Jess and Winston join them. It's all very indie; moody music and dark, arty shots.
Nick offers Jess a bottle of whiskey. Jess goes, 'it's had your mouth on it!' and runs out the balloon. I've heard her say 'mouth' way too many times now.
This episode was okay, but not as funny as last week. Thumbs up to the Schmidt / Nick storyline, though. TINIVERSARY!
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