So, my favourite show on the entire planet is back. All hail 'The Vampire Diaries'! I couldn't recap last week's due to a lack of internet, so here is a quick summary: Stefan is drowning over and over again in a box, Katherine is a pissed off human who is now being hunted by Silas, Silas is a fairly amusing douche, Elena and Caroline are at college (lol), Caroline and Tyler are probably going to break up, Bonnie is even more boring as a ghost, Elena and Caroline's room mate got murdered by a vampire and has some strange connection to Elena's adoptive father, and Elena still insists on rockin' that annoying pink streak in her hair. PHEW! This episode was awesome! For so many reasons, one being that the term 'shadow-self' was not mentioned once!
The episode began with Bonnie crying about her dead dad which very swiftly turned into mourning the fact she couldn't touch Jeremy. I'd also be sad if I couldn't touch Jeremy, so fair enough. We then swiftly move onto Katherine (because lets face it, the writers have learnt not to give Bonnie too much screen time because zzzzzzz) who is limping down a road. A neighbour (who has been mind controlled by Silas to find her) then hits her with a load of pepper spray:
Katherine responds hilariously by tackling her, throwing her phone on the ground and back handing her. Can we talk about how much better Katherine is than Elena in every single way for a second? EVERY SINGLE WAY! Anyway, she gets interrupted by the bland, chiselled checked shirt wearer that is Matt Donovan:
We swiftly cut to a hallucination in Stephen's head, where he is imaging him and Elena snuggling up by a lake.
A flash back to happier times. Although this may bring me the wrath of 'Delena' shippers, I actually think Elena and Stefan are a better couple, and I think the show will end with them back together. Anyway, this lovely image then gets rudely interrupted by Elena choking and spitting on water, which is a clever way to reference the fact Stefan is drowning over and over again. Also, am I the only one who has forgotten ELENA actually drowned as well? Jeez, this show and drownings.
Meanwhile, Caroline is being kind of a b about their dead room mate, and Elena is shouting loudly in their dorm room with the door open onto a busy corridor about how no one can find out they are 'VAMPIRES' because it would be awful it 'ANYONE FOUND OUT WE WERE VAMPIRES!! VAMPIRES!!!' Isn't she the brightest? Also, we learn they are majoring in Communications and Drama. Haha. What are the chances of them even finishing this year, let alone four? 600000000000 to 1? Yup.
Anyway, Damon and Liz, the world's worst Sheriff', are at the quarry and Liz agrees to look for Stefan, and also does not seem worried about the fact the entire population of Mystic Falls has been brainwashed by an evil wizard with great hair.
While Damon is pouting on the quarry, he instructs Matt and Jeremy to tie up Katherine and hide her. Katherine goes into a rant about how she is 'the leverage, the thing everyone wants', and then says 'I'm the freaking moonstone', which I thought was hilarious, because it made me remember how jokes the moonstone, ei. the world's most boring and useless plot device, was. What even happened to the moonstone?? I know it got thrown down a well then hidden in a soap dish then fake blown up by a warlock but THEN? Is it still around?? Will we ever know???
Elena and Caroline are now in a Micro Biology class stalking the teacher who faked their dead roommate's death certificate. The new teacher that perfectly fits the vampire mode: Good looking, wayyy too young looking, slightly creepy, talks about supernatural beings and death at odd and inappropriate times.
I'm bored already, he reminds me too much of Atticus Shane from last season, who for some reason just didn't work, although the actor was very charismatic. The new characters last season were kind of a disaster weren't they? However, he then kicks Elena out the class for being an idiot, so has swiftly become my favourite person.
Elena is bitching on the phone to Damon and Silas shows up. Elena hugs him with joy and says 'I thought something terrible happened to you'. Silas then responds with a line which I'm sure which everyone wishes Stefan himself had actually said: 'Something terrible did happen to me. You fell in love with my brother'.
Go Silas! Fight Stefan's emotional corner! Silas then reveals everything Damon has lied to Elena about, such as Jeremy getting expelled. Guys, is Silas a Stelena shipper? Apart from the fact he locked Stefan in a box in a lake for three months.
Katherine, Jeremy and Matt are chilling at a rest stop and Katherine tries to escape again, boring. The best part of it is Katherine is complaining about having a cold: 'when I cough, it is green'. Jeremy's look of disgust is hilarious:
Next, Damon bursts into Elena's dorm room, and Caroline is in a towel. I laughed when Caroline said 'Damon! Towel! Knock!' and he replied 'Caroline! No one cares! No!'
Because remember when Damon compelled Caroline to sleep with him? It has the same taboo as when Chuck Bass tried to rape Jenny Humphrey whilst dressed as a devil...it cannot be mentioned. In the University grounds, Silas is acting super suspicious and offers to 'look after' Elena's phone but Elena doesn't pick up on anything because she's very intelligent and perceptive and instead tells Silas where to find Jeremy and Katherine. Elena you rock! Speaking of which, the little party animal is drinking beer with cute-uni-guy Jesse, who tells her the teacher is part of a 'secret society'. Damon then shows up and punches him. It basically goes like this:
Bad ass Damon is back! Yey!
Back in the woods, Katherine gives a powerful speech about surviving childbirth and Klaus, to be defeated by a sinus infection. Jeremy then wraps a blanket around her. Cute, but...they can't do a romance between Katherine and Jeremy right? RIGHT? That would be TOO weird! I already think Klaus and Rebekah stray slightly too near to incest as it is. Out in the woods doing his thang, Matt is killed again by Silas, after warning Jeremy to run. How many times has Matt died now?
Matt meets Bonnie on 'The Other Side'. Seriously, does Bonnie just stalk Jeremy? We learnt some cool stuff: every time someone wearing the Gilbert ring dies, they have to go and touch (or in Matt's case, stroke) their body in order to return to life. Each time they die, their soul is moved further away from their body, which is why it takes longer to come back. However, it was mostly Bonnie bitching about being dead.
I suspect Bonnie will not remain dead for long. Maybe she can bring the moonstone back to life as well?
Anyway, the strangest scene of the night happens when Elena and Damon are making out, and Elena then tries to kill him because Silas has used mind compulsion. To stop wanting to kill Damon, all she has to do is think about Stefan (is this setting up a Stelena reunion or what?) The weird thing about this scene was how little Damon seemed to CARE about the fact Elena was about to blow up the room with them both inside. He looked bored and disinterested most of the time?
The best thing was at the end, when Caroline (after flirting like heck with Jesse- are we meant to forget about Klaus already?? KLAROLINE/CLAUS!) walked in to see Elena and Damon both battered and bruised tied to chairs, and said 'We need to set some ground rules when boyfriends come over'.
In the forest, Jeremy is awesome: he tells Katherine to get over herself, tells Silas he 'works out', attacks him, and then survives getting killed by Silas because of this joyful image:
GO KATHERINE!!! At this exact same time, Elena is bitching about how Silas 'stole her phone' (/she willingly gave him her phone). Does not highlight the difference between the two characters? GO KATHERINE!
Anyway, Silas the evil wizard vampire makes friends with the sexy gypsy who brain washed Matt (lol that sentence, and just this show in general) after the sexy gypsy kills her friend. Silas has so much swag:
Back at the university, Damon declares that 'you having pyhsic dreams about your ex boyfriend does not bother me', and Elena says 'we will save Stefan and I will still love you'. Please, I give them three episodes of happiness left.
The episode ends with the sheriff finding Stefan's box in the forest, and opening it to reveal a severed corpse. Hmmm...my bet is that the box was planted by Silas to suggest Stefan is still a ripper and that Stefan is still in the lake, because how the f would he have got out? I guess we will find out next week! Anyway, this episode was both hilarious and great. Long live 'The Vampire Diaries!'
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