Sunday, 20 January 2013

Les Misérables (2012): The Gist Is In The Title

Les Misérables is sweeping up the awards and nominations: winner of 3 Golden Globes, 8 BAFTA nominations, 9 Academy Award nominations. This created a certain amount of expectation. I was very excited for it, which is strange because I don't really like musicals (I should also point out I haven't actually seen Les Mis on stage: sacrilege!). I wanted to see it because a) I like literary adaptations, and b) THIS TRAILER: 
Ahhh! I think this is the only trailer soundtrack I have downloaded onto my iPod, additionally impressive because before this I had only heard the Glee version of 'I Dreamed a Dream' and some very stage-school kids in high school warbling 'Castle on a Cloud' when the mood struck them. I also love Tom Hooper's previous work, especially The King's Speech, so I was intrigued to see how he would handle it. It's an amazing film, but so emotionally battering I'm not sure I could watch it again. Quoting my friend who was with me, 'does it really not get any happier?'

EVERYTHING GET'S WORSE
The film opens with Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean, someone imprisoned for stealing a loaf of bread. I LOVE Hugh Jackman, and this film made me love him even more. He even lost 15 pounds, then put on another 30, to mirror his character's journey! Such dedication! Jean Valjean, or JVJ as he shall now be named, is given his parole by Russell Crowe's Javert. He sings a sad song about how he got 19 years in prison for stealing a loaf of bread and Javert is like, no no no, you got an extra 14 years because you kept trying to escape. AHA! Busted. JVJ steals some silver from a very nice priest, and the priest pretends he gave him the silver. He then does actually give him the silver and tells him to be a better man. In a very pacey scene in a chapel, JVJ 'find's God'. Javert swears he will bring the escaped convict to justice. Better watch your back, JVJ. The beginning dragged on a bit for me, but I think that is more because I was trying to adjust to the 'sing-talk' style, which I'm not really used to. 

8 years later...

JVJ is now major of Montreuil-sur-Mer. He has a nice hair cut and a VERY COOL coat. I really like his coats throughout this film. Fashion thumbs up to JVJ. 
Javert arrives to see the major, and get's suspicious when he recognises his face and sees how strong he is. Oh God. His obsession with JVJ has had 8 years to fester, and clearly isn't going anywhere. Because JVJ is all flustered that his stalker has returned (get used to him, JVJ; he will stick to you like a shadow monster), he doesn't notice a worker is being fired from his factory because some horrible, horrible rat faced women tell the lecherous boss she is a prostitute. 

The worker is...ANNE HATHAWAY! (Eg. Fantine). Fantine is desperate for money to send to her illegitimate child, so has to sell her hair, her teeth, and become a prostitute. If this film had expectations, Hathaway's performance certainly did, with the amount of Oscar buzz it has generated. It is well deserved, she is fantastic. Soulful, brimming eyes, heart-breaking, realistic. Bravo. A long way from her Princess Diary days. JVJ finds Fantine after she attacks a man for putting snow down her dress, and Fantine is all, THIS IS ON YOU. 

JVJ looks stricken. He takes her to a hospital and promises he will find her daughter. Javert tries to stop him, because Javert is always there, lurking in the shadows. He tells JVJ that he is very sorry, he told the police that JVJ was the real JVJ, but he can't be, because the real JVJ has been caught. JVJ debates whether to come clean or not and reveal his identity. DON'T DO IT. He does, of course. He runs off. 

A MYRIAD OF ESCAPES AND PRETTY BLOND CHILDREN. 
Javert catches JVJ at the hospital. My patience with Javert and his weird obsessive tendencies is growing thin. JVJ escapes. Good. He runs to find Fantine's daughter, Cosette, who is being kept as a slave at an Inn owned by the crooks Helena Bonham Carter and Borat. There is a song about how dishonest and horrible they are at the inn. It went on for too long, although it was funny. They also CUT OFF A CAT'S TAIL. JVJ turns up and rescues Cosette from a miserable grey cold wood. He buys her off the Borats. Javert is looking for him AGAIN, and JVJ has to escape with the child by climbing up buildings and running, and there is a really cute bit where he is hugging her on top of a wall, and the whole scene makes me love him even more because he is so capable and strong and nice. On a side note, it's really clever how closely a lot of the screen shots match Hugo's original illustrations, for example: 
Javert is furious and sings (one critic said he 'bleats', haha) a boring song on top of a roof. Oh. My. God. GET OVER IT!! From what I am gathering, Javert was born in a prison, and has dedicated his life to be an over zealous, strangely into-his-job law enforcer. Like Batman, only inside the law, not out of it, and without the billions of dollars and changeable voice. Fine. But...Russell Crowe. I love him in Gladiator, but I just don't think he does a very good job. There is no emotion in Javert what so ever. The only way to find out what he is currently feeling is to listen to the lyrics of the song. He is SO DULL. A singing cabbage would be more interesting. (A cabbage is the most boring thing I could think of).
Literally the only flaw in a film of spectacular performances. 

9 years later...

Idealistic students Marius and Enjolras are about to start a revolution with their friends. They are both so, so attractive: 
Oh my goodness. The one on the left is Enjolras, eg. Trip Vanderbilt from Gossip Girl. He is a serious, fiery revolutionary leader.The one on the right is Marius. He is a privileged boy from a rich background who won't accept his family money. Somehow the freckles, high cheekbones and wide, wide mouth all combines into a deep voiced, enthusiastic ball of hotness. The students get their information from a little blonde street urchin called Gavroche. He looks freakishly like baby Cosette's identical twin brother: 
Seriously. It confused me. He's great, though. 

Anywho, the older Cosette (Amanda Seyfried) is living with JVJ in a beautiful little fairytale cottage, and she doesn't know anything about his past, and she isn't allowed any friends because he is very paranoid. Marius sees Cosette walking with JVJ, and they fall in love with each other. In 2 seconds. Without talking. It really irritates me whenever this happens in films, but, you know, willing suspension of disbelief and all that. Marius gets the Borat's daughter, Eponine, to find out her location. Eponine is in unrequited love with Marius; she is obsessed with him, she follows him, she appears out of no where to ambush him with her presence. Sounds an awful lot like the situation between JVJ and Javert to me. Eponine is sad but tells Marius where Cosette lives, song song song between the three of them, the Borat's try and capture them and JVJ and Cosette escape again. Always with the escaping, that JVJ. I also really thought Seyfriend would be in this film a lot more, she has about 3 minutes of screen time. The songs that have different harmonies and multiple voices are dead on, by the way. Very well done. 

EVERYONE IS MISERABLE AND MOST PEOPLE DIE
Eponine is miserable, Marius is miserable, Cosette is miserable, JVJ is miserable. The miserable ones! Marius says he will take part in the revolution because Cosette has gone. REVOLUTION! The students hijack a funeral and the revolution begins. There are flags flying everywhere:
The students run to a barricade  So does Javert. I'm not sure why, and I don't really care. They find out he is a spy, and he is put in their make shift prison. Finally. JVJ joins the rebels because he doesn't want Marius to die, because Marius loves Cosette. Awwww. JVJ saves Hot Trip Rebel, and Hot Trip Rebel gives him Javert. JVJ lets Javert go. Javert is all, I will still put you in prison and catch you. Good grief. There are no words. GET OVER IT, MOVE ON, LEAVE HIM ALONE, GET A LIFE, GET A BOYFRIEND, JAVERT!

The rebels know they are going to die because the people of Paris don't join their cause. This movie makes me hate the general 'people' of Paris. The crowds. First they screw over Fantine, then they complain every 3 seconds, then they abandon the rebels who are rebelling because of their complaining, then they let them die, then they moan about how sad it is when they wash up the blood. I've never hated an anonymous bunch of every changing faces more. The rebels fight anyway, because they are the epitome of youthful bravery and idealism. The little boy dies, Hot Trip Rebel dies, they all die. Eponine gets hurt saving Marius, then dies in his arms after telling him she loves him. It is very sad. JVJ drags a wounded Marius into a sewer. Javert is there (surprise surprise): 'If you take one more step I will shoot you'. The look on JVJ's face here matches how I felt at his reappearance: 
JVJ dismisses him with an exasperated sigh. Javert has been spurned. His love has rejected him. Even stalking him and threatening to kill him can't elicit any form of emotions any more. He must kill himself. He sings a roof song again. ARGHHH. At this point, I got up and went to buy a drink, because I was dehydrated and knew I wasn't going to miss anything. I didn't, he was still roof singing when I came back. Javert throws himself into a river and hits his legs on some concrete on the way down. Stupid way to kill yourself, but au revoir, Javert. 

THE END
Marius sings a very touching, sad song to his dead rebel friends. Cosette comforts him. JVJ tells Marius he is the real JVJ and disappears. Marius and Cosette get married. For someone who  didn't want his grandfather's money, and very recently helped staged a revolution, Marius is certainly very happy to flounce around in fancy white clothes in a fancy building with what looks like the whole of Paris' fancy bourgeois occupants. 
The Borats (the Borats are in this film way too much; they are funny, but there is so much of them, it makes them less funny and a bit tiring) tell him JVJ saved his life. Marius grabs Cosette and they rush to see Marius. How did Marius think he got saved before? Did he not ask? I found this bit confusing. 

They find JVJ dying in a convent  He is dying in style, wearing a very nice pale green coat. The ghost of Fantine comes and comforts him. It is very sweet. Cosette and Marius turn up. JVJ dies in peace. He walks with the ghost of Fantine into heaven, which is a giant barricade in the streets of Paris, where all the rebels are singing. The end pretty much sums up the film; emotional, spectacular, rousing feast of music and red, white and blue. 

Oh, I forgot to mention, the little orphans live in a really cool elephant. 
The directing, the acting (with a notable exception), the design and the costumes were spot on, and deserve to win awards. Even without the songs, you can tell it has been partly adapted (the novel was also used) from a stage musical: very emotional, long and theatrical. Whilst this means I wouldn't personally choose to see it again, because once is enough, I think it will beat even die-hard Les Mis fans' high expectations, and it is a fantastic cinema experience. 

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