Sorry for the appalling lack of posts, I've been busy for the past week doing my dissertation. I would have recapped my dissertation, but let's face it, that wouldn't have been fun for either party. So I missed reviewing last week's New Girl, but I still saw the episode. Basically, the Promiscuous Stripper broke up with Nick. There was Absinthe. Schmidt was accidentally very racist, which made for quite uncomfortable viewing.
This week's episode was called A Father's Love. As usual, there were 2 and a quarter story lines:, which comprised of: Nick and Jess (1), Schmidt and Robbie (1), Winston (1/4).
Nick and Jess
Nick's dad made an appearance! He is a very stereotypical con man. He is unreliable. He is the reason Nick is all angry and broken inside, and why he has 'the blood pressure of a hummingbird'. Haha. He calls Jess 'blue eyes', which I think is quite a catchy nick name. It certainly made me notice her blue eyes more. She has VERY blue eyes. I don't know where my creative nickname talent has gone, but Nick's dad will be referred to as Nick's dad. I'm sorry. Nick's dad manipulates Jess's good nature to make her lend him money to buy a horse to make Nick happy. Jess was very likeable in this episode. She was delighted Nick wanted a horse, and also surprised, because Nick 'hates all living things'. There is a hilarious line where she says, 'Nick looks so sad. He's like Hilary Swank mixed with a sad wet dog'.
I've tried, but I just can't see it.
She pretends to be a vet and puts people off the horse, in her delightfully innocent way: 'I'm seeing a lot of split ends. The mane is totally the wrong length for the shape of it's face'. The horse is called 'A Father's Love'. TITULAR REFERENCE. He wants to sell it for horse semen in Dubai. Jess is appalled. 'There is more to A Father's Love than just semen!' There is a very funny bit of dialogue between Nick and Jess, where Nick demonstrates she will believe anything:
Nick: My name is Jameel.
Jess: It is?!
Nick: NO MY NAME IS NOT JAMEEL. MY NAME IS NICK.
Jess: That's not fair, you told me in confidence!
Nick: Why do you think my name is Jameel?
Jess: Well, he's *points to Nick's dad* weird!
Nick and his dad go to sell the horse to some very stereotypical Russian gangsters. Lots of stereotypical criminals all around in this episode. Nick got nervous and starts convulsing and gargling around. I still don't know if he was pretending or not. I still don't understand what was happening.
Nick blames his dad for the fact he never eats vegetables. It seems Nick blames other people a lot for his own laziness / lack of drive. There is sad scene where Nick's dad is sneaking out the house without telling him. Jess catches him and there is such disapproval and sadness in her big, guileless blue eyes, and you know it is because 1) Her faith in humanity is being severely tested 2) She knows how much it will hurt Nick. Awwwwwwww.
She starts angrily messing with the sink. NO JESS! Go make some cupcakes and play with glitter! Surrounded by kittens in ribbons! This is starting to sound like that Mary Poppin's song, but I guess they are a few of Jess's favourite things. Nick and Jess have another cute scene, PLEASE JUST GET TOGETHER GUYS. I am so excited for when they finally get married.
Winston
Winston calls Nick's dad 'papa'. A 2 second flashback shows Winston liked hats as a child. ('So many hats'!). Thus concludes the Winston part of the episode. Literally. He is not seen or mentioned again.
Schmidt and Robbie
This episode had to be my favourite Schmidt episode EVER. A new team was created: Schmidt and Robbie (the brilliance of 'Voldizard' cannot be recaptured, as this left me stumped- 'Schmobbie'? 'Ridt'?). They are both upset Cece is been set up with another Indian by her parents. This leads to a lot of jokes that border on racist, but because it's New Girl they get away with them, and I'm still not sure how. 'Good luck with whatever Patel you're dating' progresses to 'White Guy Power!' by the end of the episode. Anyway, Schmidt and Robbie prove to be the perfect combination of New Girl's speciality: quick witted randomness being fired back and forth.
They make a plan to get Cece back. Schmidt will make her fall in love with Robbie, and 'once we have lost the sub continental threat, I smite you'.
They eventually decide to crash Cece's house, which leads to awkwardness and accidental racism in front of two Indian families. They get thrown out, but stay friends, which I hope will continue into next week's episode.
Best Schmidt and Robbie-isms.
1) Cece- 'I think he's making fun of you for ordering a lemon drop'.
S- 'What, for working hard and playing hard? Guess the joke is on me'.
2) S- 'One billion Indian men is a daunting foe. I suddenly feel empathy for Pakistan'.
3) S- 'It's like they say. How do you eat an elephant, Robbie?'
R-'With chop sticks'.
S- 'What?'
R- 'Slowly with chop sticks. In a taco'.
S- 'Who eats elephant tacos? That's not even the same. One bite at a time, Robbie. One bite at a time'.
4) R- 'We can name a star after her. I know this website. We can put her right next to the Robbie's 1-8.
S- 'You have 8 stars?'
R- 'There are like a billion stars, they are really cheap'.
S- 'And 8 of them are yours? That's a horrible investment'.
5) S- 'She's into that Gandhi crap. We could self emulate'.
Overall this has been my favourite episode for a while. The dialogue was on fire. I sincerely hope this show stays as funny as it is at the moment, because the writers and the actors seem to have found their ideal curve. Let's hope it doesn't turn into Friends, Season 10 (I was just watching the horrendous Rachel / Joe (Roe? Jachel? God damn it!) episodes. Who would be the worst pairing on this show? Probably Winston and Cece. Then again, anything to give Winston a bit of the lime light. Make him the president if it will get him more air time. Make him into an elephant taco, even.
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